Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

“Snakes on a Plane” had received a lot of hype on the Internet for a long time. Now, it’s here and while it may not be the masterpiece that audiences would like to expect, it’s still a good way to spend a little more than an hour and a half. It’s like a cult movie that thrills audiences but bore critics (most of them, anyway). But I was sixteen when I became a critic—so I guess I’m a little bit of both. Therefore, I’ll give “Snakes on a Plane” three stars. It’s a fairly bad movie, I’ll admit, that interests. It’s like “The Mummy”—great trash, no, good trash, yes.

Most of the hype is about star Samuel L. Jackson’s biggest line in the movie that is probably going to be remembered for a long time—“I have had it with these mother—-snakes on this mother—–plane!” There is fun to be had with watching “Snakes on a Plane” and with a title like that, why wouldn’t there be? Unsuspecting passengers are already scared of flying, but then they have an encounter with snakes! And also, wouldn’t the snakes’ slithering inside of the plane somehow mess with the gears and the engines? Exactly.

Why are the snakes on the plane to begin with? Well, as the movie begins, a young surfer named Sean (Nathan Phillips) witnesses a murder committed by a mobster. Jackson plays Neville Flynn, an FBI agent who has to transport Sean from Honolulu to L.A. to testify against the culprit. But the murderer wants Sean dead and takes drastic measures—he smuggles hundreds of poisonous snakes onboard the plane on a crate and arranges for the crate to open when the plane is up in the air.

When that crate is opened, the snakes are loose and make their way up to coach where they attack all the passengers. They kill most of them in almost every way a snake can and about every way the filmmakers can think of—snake to the crotch, snake to the bosom, snake to the eye, snake to the tongue, snake to the arm, you name it. Now, it’s up to Flynn, Sean, flight attendant Claire (Juliana Margulies), and a group of survivors to destroy the snakes and land the plane safely.

All this is dumb fun and the secondary characters are the basic stereotypes—including Three G’s, who is a germ phobic rap star; smokin’ hot blonde flight attendant Tiffany (Sunny Mabry); the hostile Brit; and video game lover Troy (SNL’s Kenan Thompson)—but I guess that’s why I liked it. It’s preposterous, yes, but it’s fun. Jackson is forced to play the hero and Margulies is a flight attendant with an axe—watch out!

“Snakes on a Plane” is another one of those comedy-horror flicks and while it’s not up there with “Tremors,” the best in its category, in my opinion, it’s still a fun way to spend about 100 minutes.

OK, look. “Snakes on a Plane” isn’t a great movie. I shouldn’t even be giving it three stars but I’m going to anyway because I had some fun. It’s action-packed, it kept me interested, and it had some good moments. However, if you think it’s a waste of time, then just don’t waste yours. But I have enough time on my hands to waste anyway.