Smith's Verdict

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

It’s always fun to see horror movies that use old-school elements and update them into fresh modern entertainments, and “The Lost Boys” represents an appealing, fun look at the definitive vampire stories. This movie has the traditional vampire elements—vampires stalk the night and kill for human blood, and for weapons to fight them off, wooden stakes and holy water always come in handy. Where “The Lost Boys” differs is the teenage outlook. The lost boys in the title are teenage vampires living in Santa Carla, California—they dress like punk rockers, ride through the beach on their motorcycles in the night, and live in a cavern (with a Jim Morrison poster on the wall). They just happen to grow fangs, fly through the air and attack people (and drink their blood).

Oh, and who do they have to lure people into their traps occasionally? They have a “lost girl” who looks stunning while the boys look threatening. The latest person that falls for this is a young man named Michael (Jason Patric). Michael has moved to Santa Carla (which is often referred to as the Murder Capital of the World) with his divorced mother (Dianne Wiest) and younger brother Sam (Corey Haim). While checking out the boardwalk on their first night in town, Michael sees the girl—Star (Jami Gertz)—at a rock concert and follows her until they stop for a chat. It’s then that the Lost Boys—led by David (Kiefer Sutherland)—introduce themselves to Michael and decide to let him join their crowd.

Sam, a comic book geek, visits the local comic store and encounters a pair of brothers who work there—Edgar and Alan Frog (Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander). They warn him of vampires swarming Santa Carla and they’re the ones to wipe them out. They give him a special comic titled “Vampires Everywhere.” “Think of it as a survival manual,” one of them tells Sam. “Our number’s on the back, and pray you never need to call us.” This proves to come in handy, as Michael falls in with the Lost Boys after drinking a little wine (which could be blood) and joining in on their bizarre activities (such as clinging on to a railroad bridge while a train passes by). But Michael himself is going through some changes—he sleeps during the day, barely has a reflection, and is starting to crave his brother’s blood. Sam freaks out, “You’re a vampire, Michael! My own brother—a damn bloodsucking vampire! You wait ‘til Mom finds out, buddy!”

This vampire problem is more of a way of Santa Carla’s nuisance, among the weird locals, mainly youths, of the town (most of which we see in an opening montage as The Doors’ “People are Strange” is playing). With that said, who would believe that these teenage punks who dress in leather and spikes could turn out to be vampires? But when they ultimately make themselves known, they mean business. These aren’t teenagers merely having fun—these are vile humanistic beasts that slaughter without mercy, while having fun doing it.

But hey, it’s nothing that some wooden stakes, garlic, and holy water can’t fix, right?

“The Lost Boys” is far from a standard horror film. It has a nice serious-satiric edge that fits nicely with the teenage-vampire-horror elements. The idea of these vampires being teenage punks living in a cavernous hangout (did I mention the Jim Morrison poster?) is fun enough, but then they are found deeper in the caves, hanging from the ceiling while sleeping. “I thought they were supposed to be in coffins.” “That’s what this cave is—one giant coffin.” The funniest parts of the movie are with the Frog brothers, whom Sam of course calls to help kill the vampires and save his brother. These are two teenagers who pretend to be Rambo and have suitable game-faces for going into battle. What’s great about this is that it’s not played for laughs—it’s the way that both young actors play them, as serious as possible, that makes these two characters enjoyable.

But of course, they are just teenage boys fighting vampires. At their crucial point of battle, their lives are actually saved by a dog. How embarrassing for them.

“The Lost Boys” is an immensely entertaining movie with wild ideas, a nice comic edge, and good acting. It’s also great to look at. The movie was photographed in rich, dark colors by Michael Chapman, and as a result, “The Lost Boys” always contains that grimness that should come in a vampire story. The night scenes particularly look fantastic. But that’s not to say the movie doesn’t have its flaws. For one thing, it’s a little overstuffed, especially with elements of Dianne Wiest as Michael and Sam’s unbelievably dim mother (she’s too slow to catch on with the madness), and Ed Hermann as a video store clerk who dates her, and whom Sam believes is the head vampire. Actually, that’s necessary. But then there’s Barnard Hughes playing a caricature of an eccentric Grandpa (“Read the TV Guide, you don’t need a TV”). He’s funny, but at times very distracting.

Of the actors, Corey Haim is very likable as Sam, and displays good comic timing while reacting to most of everything around him. Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander steal the show as the in-over-their-heads Frog brothers. Jason Patric is merely adequate as Michael, but to be fair, I don’t believe the character was written properly. But the real standout is Kiefer Sutherland as David, the leader of the Lost Boys. Sutherland smirks like no other and has a natural menace within him. It’s a strong performance.

The final act of “The Lost Boys” features Michael, Sam, Star, and the Frog Brothers as they fight off the vampires who storm Grandpa’s house while the mother and Grandpa are away. While it is exciting and has its share of awesome and darkly funny moments (they fill a bathtub up with holy water and garlic so that a vampire implodes inside it, damaging the plumbing of the house), I have to wonder if there was some other way this could have gone. Maybe this could’ve taken the direction of a psychological or philosophical look at what it means to be a teenage vampire, for example. But that was just a personal preference. Otherwise, the climax is relatively electrifying and quite fun. And that’s what can be said of the whole movie.

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

One of my favorite movies from my childhood was “The Monster Squad,” a 1987 horror-comedy/kid-adventure with a neat premise—think of the original Movie Monsters vs. the Little Rascals, and you have “The Monster Squad.”

I loved watching this movie when I was a kid. It was entertaining, had a neat story idea that came through, and couldn’t find a single flaw. Watching it now, I notice differences between the movie I loved as a kid and the movie I’m watching now. But I still enjoyed the movie. It’s not the classic I remember, but it’s still an entertaining watch.

The Monster Squad in the title are a group of savvy middle-school outcasts who form their own club in a treehouse, where they talk mainly about their favorite subject—monsters. They draw pictures of “spider with human head” in science class, have discussions of whether or not Wolfman can drive a car, and in initiating a new member, they ask questions like how to kill a vampire and “What’s the second way to kill a werewolf?”

But meanwhile, Count Dracula (Duncan Regehr) is alive and plans to rule the world. To his aid are a wolf-man, a two-thousand-year-old mummy that just gets up and walks away from a museum, and a Gillman who…is just there. There’s a lot of story to go with this plan, but I’ll try and explain. But don’t ask how all of these Movie Monsters got associated with it because it’s never really explained. That’s not the main concern and besides, who cares anyway? They’re all here. It’s movie magic.

Anyway, there’s a magical ancient amulet that maintains some sort of balance between good and evil in the world, which can shift if the amulet is destroyed. It’s indestructible, but every one hundred years, the amulet can become vulnerable until a young virgin can read a magic spell that will maintain the amulet’s power and the balance between good and evil. Dracula hopes to find the amulet and destroy it so he can rule the world.

OK…I don’t quite get it either. I didn’t think about it too much when I was a kid, but I can’t ignore it anymore. This story is much more complicated than any other with a magical element. The amulet is simply there as a McGuffin—a story catalyst to get the story where it needs to be.

Anyway, the monster club finds out about the appearance of Dracula in their hometown, and following an old diary with sinister information, they find out what’s going on and set out to find the amulet and fight the monsters, thus the appointed name the Monster Squad.

Maybe the kids in this movie are not the Little Rascals, as I metaphorically described—even though these kids hang out in a clubhouse and have a cute little dog with them, they are also slightly older than the Rascals, are modernized for their time, and cuss because they think it’s cool.

Actually, the kids’ constant swearing, and some occasions of intense violence, is the reason this movie was granted a PG-13 rating. Because of this, audiences didn’t know why they should see this movie—a lot of people thought it would be too scary for kids, while others thought the exact opposite; thinking this was a kids’ film. Therefore, the film did very poorly at the box office. But it did gain a strong cult following by people who discovered it on TV and practically demanded a 20-year anniversary special edition DVD, which they got.

What makes this film so special? Well, for all the “80s cheese” movies that people hold in regard, “The Monster Squad” does have a great deal of production value. Director Fred Dekker and his crew used every ounce of their budget to give the movie an epic feel. You can tell right away in a well-crafted opening sequence set in the 1800s, when Abraham Van Helsing (yes, the scientist from “Dracula”) and his band of freedom fighters storm Dracula’s castle to kill monsters. The interior-castle set is incredible, as it incredibly resembles Dracula’s castle in the original 1931 “Dracula” film. And the creature effects—skeletons that come to life and grab people—are legitimately frightening.

You could argue that this opening sequence is better than the movie itself, but let’s just keep going.

The special effects are quite good, particularly the creature makeup on creatures like Frankenstein’s Monster and the Gillman. Although, the Wolfman isn’t as successful—there are times when you can tell the actor is wearing an obvious mask. (But the wolf-paws look realistic.)

Everyone remembers three particular members of the Monster Squad—the leader Sean (Andre Gower) for his wits and bravery, rebel Rudy (Ryan Lambert) for his bad-boy style and the lion’s share of the monster slaying, and Horace (a.k.a. Fat Kid—well, at least he’s supposed to be a stereotype) for not only playing a stereotypical fat kid (I mean, why else would he carry around a slice of pizza if he wasn’t use its garlic to burn Dracula’s face?), but also for delivering the film’s infamous line after kicking Wolfman in his personal area—his reaction in shocking bewilderment, “Wolfman’s got nards!”

The climax of the movie—in which the kids and monsters battle each other at the town square—is pretty exciting, with one showdown after another without getting boring. How can you not love the part where Horace kills the Gillman with a shotgun?

Duncan Regehr has fun with the role of Dracula, and there’s also Tom Noonan as Frankenstein’s Monster. Dracula brings “Frank” back to life and orders him to find the kids and kill them. But the Monster instead turns on Dracula and winds up befriending the Squad, particularly Sean’s innocent, cute little sister Phoebe (Ashley Bank).

So what about “The Monster Squad” doesn’t hold up very well for me? For starters, the story is all over the place and is a little too much for a film that runs about 82 minutes. In fact, parts of the movie just seem rushed at times. We don’t get enough of this likable Frankenstein character (though he does have an awesome final moment) and the subplot involving Sean’s bickering parents (Stephen Macht and Mary Ellen Trainor) is overlooked once the monsters appear. Oh, and there’s also a recluse simply known as Scary German Guy (Leonardo Cimino) who, in one shot, shows an interesting background that we’d like to get to know about, but no.

Actually, that’s a problem with “The Monster Squad”—for a movie with a short running time as this, it’s pretty overstuffed. Additional stuff with Sean’s police officer father and his comedic partner (Stan Shaw), the human form of the wolf-man (Jonathan Gries, simply credited as “Desperate Man”), and the school bullies (Jason Hervey and Adam Carl) are glanced over and then forgotten without much of a payoff, with the possible exception of the bullies who witness Horace killing the Gillman and respect him for it.

Also, there are quite a few nonsensical moments. For example, when Sean reads a message from someone named “Alucard,” how does he automatically know that the name is an anagram for Dracula? And there’s a scene in which the Squad’s youngest boy—Eugene (Michael Faustino)—tells his father that the Mummy is in his bedroom closet, which he certainly is. Why in the world is the Mummy in a little boy’s closet?

And while Sean, Rudy, and Horace are all entertaining while portraying their stereotypes, the other members of the Squad aren’t as much. One of them—Patrick (Robby Kiger)—is simply on hand so he can have a sexy sister that likes to undress in front of a window that the boys can see with their zoom-lens camera from their treehouse. Oh, and he makes calling cards with just “MONSTER SQUAD” printed on them—no number, address, or anything. Who let this kid in? I can also ask the same about Eugene. Eugene is in this monster club and yet he closes his eyes whenever he gets scared. He doesn’t even do anything in the actual battle except scream and close his eyes at crucial points. (Oh, and he complains constantly, “Mummy came in my house.”) His cute beagle Pete is pointless as well.

I mentioned “80s cheese” before. That’s how you can explain other parts of the movie, like the central montage of the kids getting ready for battle while a cheesy 80s rock song by Michael Sembello plays. Actually, this montage is kind of fun—it shows how the kids are able to get their hands on wooden stakes and also create silver bullets. And the song isn’t that bad either. But there’s another song by Sembello that is just terrible—it’s a rap song (that’s right—a rap song) called “Monster Squad.” It’s one of the cheesiest things you’ll ever come across.

Did I leave anything out? Boy, I hope not, because this review is getting pretty long.

The bottom line is that, despite its flaws, “The Monster Squad” is still as entertaining as I remember it. The filmmaking is nice, there are a good dose of amusing moments, the monsters are entertaining, the kids are likable, and the final battle is quite fun. And yes, Horace, Wolfman still has nards.

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

“Innerspace” is a movie full of ideas—perhaps too many ideas that don’t work entirely. But still, there are enough intriguingly silly ideas that are executed well and acted with enough game that I’m recommending the movie as absurd fun.

It’s a blend of science fiction, comedy, thriller, action, and romance that begins with a crazy idea: test pilot Tuck Pendleton (Dennis Quaid) has volunteered for a secret government experiment that involves a miniaturization device and a capsule suited for it. The experiment would cause surgeons to operate on patients from inside them. To test it out, Tuck is supposed to be miniaturized to about the size of a molecule (by estimation, at least) so that he’ll be injected into the bloodstream of a lab rabbit.

It works, and Tuck (and the capsule) is placed inside a syringe. But there’s a problem—high-tech thieves send their hit men to break in and steal the technology from the experiment. One of the scientists run off with the syringe holding Tuck and as he’s shot and killed by one of the hit men, he uses his final action to inject Tuck and the capsule into a random passerby—a grocery clerk named Jack Putter (Martin Short). As we see in introductory scenes, Jack is nervous enough. How’s he going to take the news that someone is inside him?

Tuck wades through Jack’s bloodstream and discovers soon enough that he’s inside a stranger. He uses a little gizmo to stick to one of Jack’s eyes in order to see from a screen inside the capsule exactly what Jack sees, and he also uses a communications system to talk to Jack from inside. Jack at first thinks he’s hearing things—“I’m possessed!” Jack exclaims—but eventually comes to grips with the situation and decides to help Tuck out.

If you’re following this, you’re a smart reader. But believe me—things get even stranger.

That’s mostly what’s part of the fun. There’s a limit to how long Tuck can stay inside the capsule before his oxygen runs out; the villains get closer and closer, and must be outwitted each time; the villain’s new hit man enters into the scene—a bizarre character named The Cowboy (Robert Picardo); and soon, Tuck’s former girlfriend Lydia (Meg Ryan) gets involved.

Oh, but that’s not all. Jack develops a crush on Lydia and constantly forgets that Tuck—Lydia’s former boyfriend—is still around, much closer than he thinks, to say the least.

The plot goes all over the place in “Innerspace.” Most of it is fun, and directed with a sense of silly amusement by Joe Dante (director of “Gremlins”), but you kind of wonder what would happen if the editing was tighter (the movie’s running time is 120 minutes). And there are a few holes that are kind of hard to overlook—there’s a “face-change” that is difficult to explain, and Tuck is as small as the molecules in the liquor that Jack drinks for him but it doesn’t look or seem that way. At the same time, there’s a lot to like in “Innerspace.” Not just the chances the story takes, but also the special effects and the acting.

There are many wonderful visual scenes in which Tuck travels through Jack’s bloodstream. It looks remarkable and surprisingly realistic. The computer-animated effects here are definite first-rate. Though, I would’ve liked to see Tuck fight some white-blood cells or antibodies. No such luck here, but he does eventually have to fight off a hit man who’s been miniaturized and place inside the body to get to him. Oh, and there’s also a sequence involving the heart that’s probably the best sequence in the movie. It looks realistic, as the effects involving Tuck’s capsule were combined with actual footage of a beating heart. “That’s a hell of a pump you got there,” Tuck tells Jack.

Dennis Quaid’s character of Tuck could’ve been a bore, as he spends most of his time confined to the capsule. But with his personality and constant one-liners, it feels like he’s still here. Quaid plays a hero who can’t move while Martin Short plays a nerd who wasn’t expected to be the hero. Quaid and Short have nice moments in developing their friendship.

Martin Short, the manic “SNL” alum, is wonderful in this movie. He’s extremely likable, very funny without being too manic, and is fun to watch throughout this movie. It’s hard not to like this guy.

The love story in “Innerspace” is surprisingly nicely done, and Meg Ryan makes a fun, plucky woman put into the confusion of everything. How would she handle the news that her old boyfriend is inside this nerdy guy she’s just met?

“Innerspace” is completely ambitious. It may have worn me out, and the scenes with the thieves aren’t as interesting as the relationships between Tuck, Jack, and Lydia (with the exception of the Cowboy’s scenes, which are manic), but it still provided a good time for me with its intriguing special effects, good acting, and constant use of story twists.

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

“It’s like I have Ward Cleaver for a dad.”

In the low-budget thriller “The Stepfather,” teenager Stephanie Blake doesn’t know the half of it when she delivers that simile about her new stepfather. This new man in hers and her mother’s life seems like the perfect family man, or he just wants the perfect family. It seems like he wants his family to be like those in “Father Knows Best.” But there’s something we know that Stephanie and her mother don’t. The stepfather Jerry is undoubtedly an unstable, sick mind. As we see in a creepy, gripping opening scene, this man has murdered his family (we don’t see the murders, but we do see the bodies in the living room), changed his appearance (shaved his beard and wears contact lenses), and went off to find a new family. One year later, he has changed his identity and remarried Susan Blake (Shelley Hack) to come across, possibly yet again, as an ideal family man. Susan falls for it, but daughter Stephanie (Jill Schoelen) sees right through him—she complains to her mother, “It’s not even our house anymore—it’s his.”

The stepfather goes through the notions of an ideal family man, fooling everybody in the neighborhood. He hosts dinner parties with his real-estate clients, gives Stephanie a puppy as a present, and even calls her Pumpkin, which creeps her out even more. Stephanie’s therapist (Charles Lanyer) thinks she’s just having trouble adjusting to having a stepfather to replace her deceased father, and her acting up in school—and getting expelled—doesn’t make her any more credible. But she knows that something is wrong with this man.

“The Stepfather” has its share of effectively disturbing moments—the most memorable is that opening scene I described. Just as tense is the scene in which Stephanie comes across the stepfather having a mental breakdown before immediately snapping back into character when he sees her. But it also has one other, very important thing going for it, and that is the performance by Terry O’Quinn as the stepfather. O’Quinn is great in the role—chilling, subtle, and even strangely likable at some points. He’s convincing as a psychopath who acts as a normal person but has an unbalanced mind that resorts him to murder when everything goes wrong. The tension is always there when he’s on screen.

Not particularly strong is the subplot involving the brother of his latest victim trying to track down the killer, by using a newspaper reporter and a police detective to try and track him down. It’s not particularly interesting and pretty distracting, compared to the family aspects and tension.

What really satisfied me about the film was that the characters weren’t necessarily idiots to figure this guy out, especially when the film shows the audience right from the start. I feel like this man could fool anybody; of course, that includes Susan. And Stephanie does her own detective work. She has a sure plan to figure him out, which backfires, making her feel like she was wrong about him. This helps raise the tension level.

“The Stepfather” isn’t like the usual slasher films you come across. Sure, it does have a rising action that comes down to a climactic confrontation between the psychotic killer and his family, and you could use that for the climax for any other film of this sort. But what makes “The Stepfather” special is the characterization and performance of the title character, its successful scary moments and haunting feel, and a sharp script by Donald Westlake. It’s an effective thriller.

Smith’s Verdict: ***

Reviewed by Tanner Smith

“La Bamba” tells the story of late rock star Ritchie Valens, who at the age of seventeen and in the time span of six months, had three hit songs that made him famous and a declared rock-n-roll sensation. And because that isn’t quite enough material for a biopic such as this, most of the events that took place in the lives of Ritchie and his family are stretched out for the film, mostly to effective results.

In the 1950s, Ritchie Valens (whose real surname was Valenzuela) was a Mexican-American who was raised in migrant labor camps in Northern California, idolized his older, motorcycle-riding half-brother, and had a deep admiration for his music. When he moved to a suburb in Southern California, along with his mother and siblings, he performed wherever he could until he finally got himself noticed by more and more people to become something special.

I guess you could consider “La Bamba” to be a follow-up to the great “The Buddy Holly Story,” which told the events of rock star Buddy Holly, because Buddy Holly, Big Bopper, and Ritchie Valens on February 3, 1959. That day was described as “the day the music died.” Maybe it didn’t die, but it was a dreadful event for all three individuals. It was all the more tragic, in that Ritchie was only seventeen years old when he died.

So how does “La Bamba” fare out, telling the story of Ritchie Valens this time? Well, just fine.

What problems do I have with “La Bamba,” which is otherwise a sweet-natured feel-good movie about a kid following his dreams and becoming famous for his music? Well, there are two issues I have with this movie, and unfortunately, they are major. For one thing, adding that Ritchie has nightmares about plane crashes, thus increasing his fear of flying, makes it kind of sick, considering that we know that Ritchie Valens (along with Buddy Holly and Big Bopper) died in a plane crash. When Ritchie takes that fateful trip, he seems relaxed over his fear by now. Why was this necessary?

The other problem I have is with the music. I mean, the music sounds nice—of course, they’re memorable tunes by Ritchie Valens (“Come On, Let’s Go,” “Donna,” and of course, “La Bamba”). But the real issue with the musical performances in this movie is that I really didn’t believe that what I saw on screen was actually being performed. It was just so obvious that the performances were overdubbed, which I realize must be done in movies like this. But the trick is to hide the fact that the music is being dubbed over; “La Bamba” doesn’t succeed. There are some exceptions, though. For example, when Ritchie and Bob visit Tijuana for a night, the folk performing the original “La Bamba” (which inspires Ritchie’s rock-n-roll version) sounds nice and credible. And the concert performing of Ritchie’s “La Bamba” does indeed sound like a genuine concert performance. Other than that, however, I was never convinced I was seeing Ritchie Valens sing or hearing him perform—I just saw actor Lou Diamond Phillips acting like him.

What do I like about “La Bamba?” To tell the truth, I liked the stuff that had nothing to do with the music, particularly the family aspects and conflicts. Ritchie (Lou Diamond Phillips) has help from his hard-working, caring mother Connie (Rosana DeSoto) to get his music career going. She works as his manager for small stuff, like performing at a bar, until Ritchie gets an agent—Bob Keene (Joe Pantoliano), who is a wise-guy type but reliable nonetheless. But then, there’s Ritchie’s rebellious half-brother Bob (Esai Morales). There are times when he is supportive of his younger brother’s fame, but other times when he’s resentful. He becomes a source of certain trouble for the family and Ritchie’s career. There’s also a sweet relationship between Ritchie and his Anglo girlfriend Donna (Danielle von Zernick), whose father don’t approve of Ritchie either because of his race or because of his “jungle music,” which the father calls it. Each of these scenes have a nice sentimental quality to them and they make the movie work, despite its flaws. They give a nice portrait of everyday life and there are good actors playing these roles. Lou Diamond Phillips is appealing as Ritchie, Rosana DeSoto is convincing and winning as the mother, and Esai Morales is excellent as the older brother who both loves and resents his brother. “La Bamba” isn’t the great movie that it could have been, but its sweet, fun moments weigh a little more than the unnecessary parts.